Thursday, 25 July 2013

tested at 6 and diagnosed till 17

I was tested when I was 6 and my parents were told that I was high on the autistic scale and they did not believe them. they said their is no way that he has autism he is nothing like a person with autism. he is talkative and intelligent and in no way acts like a autistic. it took 11 more years to get the DX of Aspergers. they believe it now and can see the quirks that I had as a kid was the autism. well after all of that i did have autism after all and I should have been getting all the supports for it since it was discovered when I was 6. I have yet to have any therapies for it.

curing autism

I am an aspie and I do not want to be cured from the aspieness it is who i am and i would not want to change it. their are parts of me that i would like to change but they are not part of the aspieness of me. I am offended by jennifer's comment about curing it. it is not the aspergers that needs cured. I am legally blind and i would like to change that. I have no use of my left arm and i would like to change that. things like that I would like to change but not the aspergers. I do not like the puzzle piece either as the symbol of autism. I am not a piece that needs to be fixed. I am a person that just wants to live my life without people judging me. I hope this makes sense to everyone.

My school life

It would be dull to be normal their would be no fun and no adventure to go on. Kids are very mean with the name calling, i was called many nicknames that were hurtful and nasty. In preschool i spent the whole time hiding underneath tables and playing by my self. I don't know what the other kids thought of me but it was probably not good. I have no use of my left hand so it is a good thing that I am right handed but even at that I can barley use my right hand. I never liked recess and used to just play by my self in a corner. i was called nasty names all through school and into adult hood but now it is a blessing. being a nerd or geek gets you into better careers and into a better life for yourself. I was very shy and the teachers and other kids did not even notice me in school. I never raised my hand or helped out in class. I was the invisible kid just plugging along doing the work that was needed. I had a big stuttering problem in fourth grade that did not help much. I was teased badly for that. I was no good at sports because I have no depth perception and can not see any motion and can not kick or run properly to save my life. I was called germy instead of my name for years. I am irish and a bit of Scottish and dutch. in sixth grade I had a bully that used to trip me up many times a day and beat me up. I even got a restraining order against him but it did no good. I used to get chased by a group of kids and if they caught up to me they would beat me up badly. After 6th grade my parents moved and put me in a new school hoping it would be better but it ended up to be much much worse for me. every kid was beating me up and taking advantage of me and calling me everything in the book. I skipped almost 2 month of seventh grade because it got so bad that i was too scared to go to school so I stayed home and called in sick pretending to be my dad because my voice had changed by then. I had to take a ferry and two busses to get to school in grade 8 through 12 and got beat up and picked on on the ferry and the bus rides. had two bus rides going their and two coming home again. some times the other kids would not even let me sit down on the ferry and on the busses. and the bus drives did not care that i had to stand while they were in motion. Grade 6 through 10 were the hardest years of my life next to what happened to me in grade 11. I had only one friend in grade 7 through 12 and till today. I had a different friend in 7th and 8th and my BFF that i met in grade 9. I was tormented real badly in PE so in grade 9 I got two doctors notes excusing me from having to do PE and so I got out of it. I tried to fake sickness from grade 6 on word because of how bad it was for me to go to school. I was cared for my life and was upset all the time. the one time I went to a youth centre to hang out i got into a big fight and was beat to a pulp. I never went back to any youth centres.

Friday, 9 November 2012

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Spreading awareness about ASD

I really want to spread awareness I do not think their is enough info from people with Aspergers about what it is really like to live with it. People would be way more understanding of people affected by it if they new what we have to go through.

Removing Aspergers from the DSM

I think it is a big mistake to get rid of the Aspergers DX because without it in their most of us will not get a proper DX and will not get the services or support we deserve. I would have been DXed as PDD-NOS which is what they were wanting to push on me but for one nero doc that said it was Aspergers. I would not have liked to have to live my life with a DX of not otherwise specific. That is not a good DX to have in my opinion. I am much happier with the Aspergers DX.

for more info please join

and please sign the petition at

Monday, 5 November 2012

A little bit about me

Hi my name is Jeremy Tolmie I am 31 years old and have Aspergers Syndrome OCD, SPD, PTSD, ADHD, Dispraxia, Depression, Social phobia, Panic disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia and psychotic episodes with psychosis. 

I am a certified computer technician having graduated from Academy of Learning with my Computer Service Technician Diploma with honers. 

I work for Literacy Central Vancouver Island as a computer technician. I refurbish donated computers that go to families with kids on welfare. 

I love computers, hockey, star trek, video games, alternative music, crime tv shows, most movies except romantic comedies, lord of the rings, harry potter, most fantasy and sifi books movies and games, Netflix, apple products, reading, writing and blogging, Facebook, cartoons, comics, and so much more.

I run two blogs and have published a book on what it has been like for me growing up with Aspergers Syndrome and not knowing it till I was 17.

my blogs are at

I also run a group at

My book can be purchased at

I am always up to making new friends on FB and getting new followers for my blogs. I am also always up to talking to people about what it has been like for me. Or about anything that they want to talk about. I am way more social on FB then I am in person that is why I love FB and am glad that it is around so that I can feel good about being social and giving me the time I need to make conversations.

That is a bit about me and I hope to chat to you all more in the future.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Sleep and ASD

starting at 2.5 yo of age I had a 8pm bedtime and I would get my fairy tales told to me at that time and then go to bed. I always got up at 5am to watch TV though. I would wake up much earlier than when I finally would get up. I did not want to wake my parents up which were just across the hall from me. I had a mid day nap though through pre-school and kindergarden. I did not actually nap during 
that time but I did decompress and used the time to recuperate from all the stimuli. I did not take any meds till I was 16.5 to 17.5 and then not again till I was 28.5. I take 5mg of melatonin to help me sleep. I started that 3 weeks ago and it has helped a lot. I still wake up at 4am but I fall asleep in minuets instead of hours so I feel much more rested in the morning. I get up at 8am where before I would get up at 10am and be really tired.

Abandonment Issues and ASD

my mom had to become a stay at home mom because every time she tried to drop me off at daycare I would start crying and throwing a tantrum till she stopped trying. I daycare people said after a week that they could not handle me because of the crying and tantrums that I would through. she took me to our paediatrician and he said because I had come from foster care and was adopted that I was having
 abandonment issues and that it would not get better any time soon and that she should stay at home with me and be my own daycare provider. so she did till I was 12 and then she went back to work. I did do some pre-school but I just hid under a table and did not partake in anything and would have nothing to do with anyone so she gave up on that after a couple of months and just kept me at home till I was old enough to start kindergarden.

Friday, 19 October 2012

Vision and ASD

SIGHT: I have had more problems with sight then any other except touch. I had a lazy eye when I was a kid and had to have it patched for months to fix it. I have 400/20 vision in my left and 200/20 vision in my right. 

I have no depth perception or spacial awareness of any kind. I can not see any motion of any kind either so mos
t sports are out.

My vision is always blurry even with glasses they are blurry and staticy looking. I have very poor night vision if at all.

I bump into stuff all the time and it hurts. I stub my toes on stuff all the time and they really hurt. I trip over my feet all the time and it hurts and throes me off balance and makes me fall down a lot of the time.

I have a hard time telling what is real and what is not real because my vision is so bad I can not see enough detail to tell for sure.

I see blotches of shapes that fade in and out of my vision that distract me and make it hard to concentrate.

I have a hard time reading because all the words get jumbled together for me and I have to say each one in my head slowly for me to be able to read it properly. I am a slow reader but I do get more out of what i read then some people do.

I can not read stuff when I am moving to and from them the words just go out of focus and can not be read.

I can not read time if it is not in a stable point for the same reason. that is why I wear a watch or that I always have the time close at hand.

I can not see my body if I am in motion. if my arms or legs are in motion I can not see them they are just a blur going by and not distingisble.

I have to look at my feet and try to predict where they are going to land and adjust on the fly for them to land on a flat and stable spot so that I don't fall down.

I have to be careful of ware my hands and arms are at all times so that they do not accidentally hit, smack or otherwise get into trouble that I did not mean for them to get into.

I also have to do the same for my legs and feet because it can happen so fast that their is nothing i can do to stop it once it has begun.

I see 10x more light then their really is so I prefer to do work in a dusky semi dark room with little light and windows with blinds turned tight. right now I am in such a room typing this up for you. no lights on just a little light coming through the blind slits.

I see even less without my glasses but even with them I do not really see much at all.

Touch and ASD

TOUCH: I feel everything at 10x strength. I feel every imperfection in my clothes and it bugs me to no end sometimes.

I can feel every little ting going on in my body. I feel my hart pumping, my chest rising and falling, my lungs filling and emptying of air, my ribs moving up and down, the pain in my ribs with each movement, the p
ain in my chest as this movement happens, the pain in my finger joints trying to type this out, the hart palpitations with working on this blog, the throb of blood running through my body and brain, the throb of the blood in my ear, the pain in both my elbows, the bad pain in my back and neck, the pain in my toe joints and the balls of my feet that ache all the time, the hip pain that is giving me a limp, the bad headache that I always seem to have.

I feel everything that touches my body or that I touch with my body by 10x.

when I shake your hand it hurts me to do it but I do it because it is what is expected of me.

when I knock on a door it also hurts me and I do it for the same reasons.

wearing cloths put me in constant pain that I have just gotten used to and live with it.

I do not like wearing glasses but I can not see at all without them so I put up with them but they hurt me a lot.

I wear shoes so my feet don't get wet but they really hurt me and cause lots of pain for me.

I wear a hat to keep my head dry and my eyes shielded but it itches my head and hurts my head and I would rather not wear it but it is better then the other way.

It hurts me when people touch any part of me I really hate people touching my hair or shoulder it is painful and hurtful and i do not like it.

It hurst me every time i have to make a step but if I do not I will not go anywhere so I trudge through the pain and hurtfulness and take those steps.

blankets touching me can cause me pain and discomfort and so can pillows and sheets.

99% of the pain and hurt I feel is caused by me experiencing way to much felling with touch.

I wish I found not feel anything it would have to be better then what it is for me because I can not last much longer with all the hurt and pain I have to deal with each and every day just to get up out of bed is painful and hurtful for me.


Smell and ASD

Smell: my smell is so good that I can detect the smallest amounts of smell off of people, animals, food, drink ext. I can not stand perfume or cologne because their is too much smell to deal with. I smell things with 10x the smell senses then a NT person does. 

I can smell the mill that is two towns over with its sulphur scented s
moke poring in the air. the higher the concentration of the smell the more chance of rain that we will have in my town.

I can smell the grass from inside my house with all the windows closed. I can smell the trees and flowers the same way. I always keep my windows and doors closed to not have to smell as strongly the outside smells.

I can just walk by someone and know if they are wearing perfume or cologne or even deodorant that day.

some smells I like so I want to smell more of them others I hate and gag if I even start to smell them.

I can smell other peoples cooking from 4 doors down and can tell what they are having for supper.

smell is a funny thing because it does not affect me nearly as much as some of the senses it is a minor inconvenience to me but does not hurt me.

Sound and ASD

This is going to be about the hyper sensitivity of the senses.

Sound: my hearing is so good that I can hear my own hart beat, my own breaths, my head pawning, ear whiling, skin tubing, cloths rubbing, my own swallowing, teeth chattering, everything from my body I can hear in 10x volume. 

I can hear every sound my house makes. the hum of the lights, the buzz of the TV, the hum of the fans, the 
creaks of the wood expanding and contracting, the tick tock of a clock, the grind of a computer hard drive, the fly flying around in the other end of the house. i hear everting in 10x mode. I can hear the buzz a TV makes when it is on but no sound is coming out of it and I can hear it from the other end of the house.

I can hear every car moving from miles around and can detect different engine sounds from each and every one of them. I can hear car doors opening and closing from miles around. I can hear people talking from miles around and sometimes if i concentrate I can make out what they are saying and repeat it back to anyone listening to me.

I can hear every plane flying within miles of me and can pick out the different sounds different plans make or whether it is a helicopter instead. I can hear every ferry that passes by and can tell how fast they are going based on the sound that they make. all of this at 10x volume.

when I go into a crowded space with lots of people talking I can hear every conversation all at once and it just gets overwhelming.

No wonder why I like it alone by myself in a secluded space where their is very few sounds to deal with. NO wonder why I hate eating out or going to the movies or anywhere where their is lots of people. I hear everything at 10x so it is a amazing thing if I can respond to people under theses situations.

This is just me but it may be your kids to that have it just as bad as I do. Keep that in-mind the next time they have a melt down in public. they just have not learned to adapt to the mass amount of information their brains are trying to deal with.

My Phobias and ASD

My phobias sorry it will be a really long list

Acarophobia: fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.

Acousticophobia: fear of noise or sounds

Acrophobia: fear of acrobats. Just kidding. Really, it's the fear of heights. People who suffer from acrophobia may feel like they are being pulled toward the edge of a high place. This one is on the Phobia List of Top 10 most popular phobias
. Acrophobia comes from the Greek word "acron," meaning height.

Aerophobia: fear of flying. This one is on the Phobia List of Top 10 most popular phobias. Did you notice the serious decline in air travel after the events of 9/11? Aerophobia also means an irrational fear of fresh air or drafts of air. Aerophobia comes from the Greek "aero," which means air or gas. Also referred to as aviatophobia or aviophobia. Sometimes aerophobia is also referred to as being the fear of swallowing air, or airborne substances.

Agliophobia: fear of pain.

Agoraphobia: fear of public places, open areas, or fear of crowds. Also the fear of leaving or travelling too far from a safe place, This one is on the Phobia List of Top 10 most popular phobias. People with agoraphobia feel anxious if they even think about being trapped in a situation where it might be difficult to leave. People with agoraphobia usually avoid the situations which trigger anxiety or panic. Agoraphobia is highly variable in severity. People with mild agoraphobia often live normal lives by avoiding anxiety-provoking situations. But, in the most severe cases, the victims may be incapacitated and never leave their house. If I work in person with someone who has agoraphobia I always make sure they are highly motivated to overcome the fear. . . I don't make housecalls! (That is a joke. . . ) Agoraphobia comes from the Greek "agora," meaning marketplace.

Agraphobia: fear of sexual abuse. Also known as Contreltophobia

Agrizoophobia: fear of wild animals.

Agyrophobia: fear of crossing streets, highways and other thoroughfares; or fear of streets themselves. Agyrophobia comes from the Greek "gyrus" meaning turning or whirling.

Aichmophobia: fear of needles or pointed objects. From the Greek word "aichme," which means point. This fear can be life threatening if it prevents the sufferer from seeking needed medical attention.

Algophobia: fear of pain.

Amaxophobia: fear of riding in a car.

Ambulophobia: fear of walking. If you have this phobia and amaxophobia, you're pretty much not going anywhere.
but I work through it because I can not just go no ware that wold not work.

Amychophobia: fear of scratches or being scratched.

Anablephobia: fear of looking up.

Ancraophobia: fear of wind.

Anemophobia: fear of air drafts or wind.

Anthropophobia: fear of people or society.

Antlophobia: fear of floods. After all of the coverage of the Tsunami and Hurricane Katrina in 2005, I would not be surprised if a lot of people developed this phobia.

Aphenphosmphobia: fear of being touched.

Apiphobia: fear of bees. The word "apiphobia" comes from "api-" from the Greek "apis" meaning bee. Apiphobia is also called melissophobia, since "melissa" is another Greek word for bee.

Aquaphobia: fear of water. People with aquaphobia experience anxiety when in or near oceans, rivers, lakes, creeks or even a bathtub or shower. Boating and swimming are no fun. Forget scuba diving altogether. A rare sub-form known as aquamanophobia is the fear of the DC Comics superhero Aquaman. The word is from the Latin "aqua," which means water.

Arachnophobia: fear of spiders. Arachnophobia is ranked number one on the Phobia List of Top 10 most popular phobias. One medical site suggested that arachnophobia is really "fear of the unknown, since most spiders are harmless." Remember that phobias are, by definition, an irrational fear. We may use logic to justify or validate the fear, but the all the logic in the world will not abate the emotional response. "Arachnophobia" is derived from the Greek "arachne" meaning spider.

Arsonphobia: fear of fire.

Astraphobia: fear of thunderstorms. Interestingly, people with this phobia seem to take great delight in watching the weather channel, or local News stations give constant and sensational coverage of storms. If you feed the fear, it grows bigger! "Astraphobia" is derived from the Greek "aster" meaning star . Related term: Brontophobia, which is the fear of thunder.

Athazagoraphobia: fear of being forgotten or ignored or forgetting.

Atomosophobia: fear of atomic explosions.

Atychiphobia: fear of failure.

Bathophobia: fear of depths. The feared object may be a long, dark hallway, a well or a deep pool or lake. "Bathophobia" is derived from the Greek "bathos" meaning depth.

Batophobia: fear of heights or being close to high buildings.

Batrachophobia: fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders, etc.

Belonephobia: fear of pins and needles. (Aichmophobia)

Blennophobia: fear of slime.

Brontophobia: fear of thunder. "Brontophobia" is derived from the Greek "bronte" which means thunder. This one is on the Phobia List of Top 10 most popular phobias. A related term: Astraphobia, fear of thunderstorms.

Bufonophobia: fear of toads.

Basophobia: fear of walking or falling. Also listed as Basiphobia.

Catapedaphobia: fear of jumping from high and low places.

Catoptrophobia: fear of mirrors.

Ceraunophobia or Keraunophobia: fear of thunder and lightning.(Astraphobia, Astrapophobia)

Chiraptophobia: fear of being touched.

Chrematophobia: fear of money. Sufferers worry that they might mismanage money or that money might really be "the root of all evil." Actually, that's quite a common misunderstanding. The actual quote says the "love of money is the root of all evil." From the Greek "chrimata" which means money. A related term is chromatophobia, which may be related to he Greek word "chroma" (color) because of the brilliant colors of ancient coins--for example, gold, silver, bronze and copper.

Claustrophobia: fear of closed spaces, of being closed in or being shut in, as in elevators, tunnels, or any other confined space. Even sitting in one of the middle seats in a theatre may cause anxiety. This one is on the Phobia List of Top 10 most popular phobias. The word "claustrophobia" is derrived from the Latin "claudere," which means to shut.

Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia: fear of being locked in an enclosed place.

Climacophobia: fear of stairs, climbing, or of falling downstairs.

Cleptophobia: fear of stealing.

Clithrophobia or Cleithrophobia: fear of being enclosed.

Cnidophobia: fear of stings.

Coimetrophobia: fear of cemeteries.

Coulrophobia: fear of clowns.

Cryptophobia: fear of things that are hidden. You definitely won't find people with this phobia watching "Tales of the Crypt" or writing in code. "Secret Agent" would not be a good job choice.

Cymophobia or Kymophobia: fear of waves or wave like motions.

Decidophobia: fear of making decisions.

Deipnophobia: fear of dining or dinner conversations.

Demophobia: fear of crowds. The greek word "demo" means "people. This phobia is more commonly called Agoraphobia.

Dentophobia: fear of dentists. Don't confuse this with the neoautodentaphobia which is the fear of getting a dent in your new car. This phobia can be serious because sufferers will often avoid needed medical treatment. Derrived from the Latin word "denti" which means tooth.

Didaskaleinophobia: fear of going to school.

Dinophobia: fear of dizziness or whirlpools.

Diplophobia: fear of double vision.

Dishabiliophobia: fear of undressing in front of someone.

Dromophobia: fear of crossing streets.

Dysmorphophobia: Excessive dislike of a part of ones body. Also known as "bigorexia" when characterized by a person's obsession with an imagined defect in physical appearance. The word "Dysmorphophobia" is from the Greek "dys" plus "morphe," meaning "form."

Dystychiphobia: fear of accidents.

Eisoptrophobia: fear of mirrors, or of seeing oneself in a mirror. Because this fear often is grounded in superstitions, sufferers may worry that breaking a mirror will bring bad luck or that looking into a mirror will put them in contact with a supernatural world inside the glass. "Eisoptrophobia" comes from the Greek "eis," which means into, and "optikos," which means vision, image, or sight.

Electrophobia: fear of electricity.

Eleutherophobia: fear of freedom.

Emetophobia: fear of vomiting. Sufferers are especially worried about vomiting in public and embarrassing themselves. Consequently, they often avoid office meetings, banquets, dances and other social gatherings. The anxiety produced by this phobia can cause a nervous stomach and nausea. This one is on the Phobia List of Top 10 most popular phobias. "Emetophobia" is derived from the Greek word "emetos" which means vomiting.

Enetophobia: fear of pins.

Enochlophobia: fear of crowds.

Entomophobia: fear of insects. To avoid insects, sufferers may frequently clean rooms and carpets, sweep hallways, spray insect-killer or seal off doors and windows. Entophobia (insect phobia) includes acarophobia (mites: scabies) and arachnophobia (fear of spiders). "Entomophobia" is derived from the Greek "entomos" which means insect.

Epistaxiophobia: fear of nosebleeds.

Ergophobia: fear of work. This fear may actually be a combination of fears, such fear of failing at assigned tasks, fear of speaking before groups at work, or fear of socializing with co-workers. "Ergophobia" is derived from the Greek "ergon" which means work.

Erotophobia: fear of sexual love or sexual questions.

Erythrophobia: fear of blushing. Anxiety results from worry about being the focus of attention and the subject of embarrassment. Attempts to suppress blushing often have the opposite effect. Sufferers of erythrophobia tend to avoid social gatherings and workplace projects that require them to interact with, or speak before, groups of co-workers. "Erythrophobia" also can refer to fear of the color red because of what it may symbolize, such as blood. "Erythrophobia" is derived from the Greek "erythros" which means red. This one also shows up on some lists as Ereuthrophobia.

Galeophobia: fear of sharks. People with this phobia can experience intense anxiety if they are on a boat, visiting an aquarium, on a beach, or watching any of the "Jaws" movies. My guess is that the original 1975 movie "Jaws" created a lot of galeophobs and actually caused a decline in the SCUBA diving industry. More recently, the 2004 movie "Open Water" may have also contributed. "Galeophobia" is derived from the Greek words "galeos" meaning a "shark with markings that look like those found on a weasel." I could be mistaken (I'm not an expert on sharks or weasels) but I think I've seen more sharks with markings that do not resemble a weasel. If this wasn't actually in a medical dictionary, I would have thought it came from a Mony Python skit.

Gephyrophobia: fear of crossing bridges. Their fear can be a combination of claustrophobia (fear of close spaces) and acrophobia (the fear of heights). Phobic drivers may worry so much about being in an accident or losing control of their vehicles that they avoid driving or actually create the very accident they are trying to avoid. High bridges over waterways and gorges can be especially intimidating. Very long or narrow bridges can also be particularly problematic. When I was seven years old we drove to Disney World in Florida. Although I did not have a phobia of bridges, I do remember feeling a sense of anxiety while travelling on the bridges that seemed to go for miles over the Everglades. Fear of bridges is a relatively common phobia. "Gephyrophobia" comes from the Greek words "gephyra" which means bridge. Also listed as Gephysrophobia.

Glossophobia: fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak. Could also be the fear of language. The Greek word for language is "glossa."

Haphephobia: fear of being touched. Also listed as Haptephobia.

Harpaxophobia: fear of being robbed.

Heliophobia: fear of the sun.

Helminthphobia: fear of being infested with parasitic worms called helminths. People with helminthphobia worry about trichinosis and other helminth diseases even though proper sanitation and hygeine is practiced. "Helminthphobia" is derived from the Greek "helmins" which means worm.

Hematophobia: fear of blood. People with this very common phobia dread the sight of their own blood, or blood of another person or animal. Sometimes printed or filmed images of blood or even thoughts of blood can cause panic. Blood may remind them of their own vulnerability to injury and of the eventuality of death. "Hematophobia" is derived from the Greek "haima" which means blood. Alternate name for hematophobia: hemophobia.

Herpetophobia: fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things.

Hydrophobia: 1. fear of water, to drink or to swim in. 2. A term once commonly used for rabies because in the later stages of that disease, the animal (or person) has difficulty swallowing and so fears a drink of water. From the Greek "hydro" which means water.

Illyngophobia: fear of vertigo or feeling dizzy when looking down.

Neophobia: fear of anything new, of innovation, new situations, places, or things. "Neophobia" comes from the Greek "neos" meaning new.

Phonophobia: fear of sound. From the Greek word "phone" which means voice, or sound. Many children have an apparant fear of loud sounds. Usually it is more of a sensitivity than a fear, but the symptoms can be similar. Some lists also suggest that it is the fear of voices (your own or other's); and fear of telephones. I think there should be a word for fear of telephone bills!

Photophobia: fear of light. This is not a very common phobia. However, the medical community does use the word to refer to an abnormal sensitivity to or intolerance of light, which can be very painful. This is not really a phobia, so, in my opinion, use of this word for light sensitivity is somewhat of a misnomer. The Greek word "phot" which means light.

Sociophobia: fear of embarrassment in social situations; can have debilitating effects on personal and professional relationships. This one is on the Phobia List of Top 10 most popular phobias. Symptoms of social phobia include blushing, sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, muscle tension, nausea or other stomach discomfort, lightheadedness, and other symptoms of anxiety. People with this disorder tend to lead difficult and diminished lives. The emotional toll is great. Many people with social phobia have trouble reaching their educational and professional goals or even maintaining employment. In extreme cases, a person may begin to avoid all social situations and become housebound. "Sociophobia" is derived from the Latin "socius" which means companion.

Taphephobia: fear of being buried alive. "Taphephobia" comes from the Greek "taphos" meaning grave.

this is most of the fears and phobias that I have.


I hate having my fair washed, brushed or cut because it hurts me and I am afraid of the water, hair brush, and clippers. 

I shield my eyes from the sun and other bright lights because they hurt my eyes and are painful to look at.

I have selective hearing and difficulty hearing because their is too much sounds going on around me and i can not filter or focus on 
just one or two sounds I hear them all and my Brian tries to focus on them all. which means i may not hear you or have trouble understanding you.

I am a picky eater: I resist new foods and textures. I taste, smell and feel everything that goes in my mouth. It takes me a long time to get used to a certain taste, feel, smell of foods so i do not like to change them because I like to know what i am going to experience when i eat something.

I complain about tags in my clothing because they scratch my back and make it itchy and they hurt me and overwhelm my sense of touch.

I seem to be unaware of normal touch or pain: I often touch others too soft or too hard. I can not tell how hard or soft I am touching someone. a firm hand shake could really hurt the other person. I tend to feel way more pain then normal from myself but I can not tell if i am causing pain to others.

I hate being tickled or cuddled. Tickling overwhelms me and hurt me. cuddling overwhelms me and has to be done in a very slow and intentional way.

I have poor gross motor skills such as running and riding a bike. I do run like a girl even worse then one but I did learn how to ride a bike by the time I was 7 and am ok at riding bikes.

I always walk on my tiptoes. I prefer to walk on my tiptoes but i do not always walk on my tiptoes. it feels more balanced and just feels right to be on my tiptoes.

I have trouble focusing and/or concentrating. It takes me forever to get anything done because I keep loosing focus on it and just pace for a while. I am a procrastinator and perfectionist so i get nothing done ever. this blog and hopefully my book with be the first things that I have ever finished.

I am overly sensitive to loud sounds such as vacuums and blenders. I freak out when the vacuum or blender or popcorn maker is on the sounds from them hurt my ears and make me very nervous.

I am always smelling people food and objects. I smell everything around me before i have anything to do with it. it just helps me to know the smells that I will have to get used to. so that I do not freak out because of a smell that i do not recognize. 

I chew on everything. well I used to chew on everything but it has been a long time since i have done any chewing other then food. I used to like the stimuli in my mouth of chewing and sucking on anything i could get my hands on.

I have poor fine motor skills: such as handwriting and cutting. I handwriting is worse then a doctors and even i can not read it some of the time. I can not read my printing some of the time either. I can not cut to save my life I always end up going in zig zag patterns when I try to cut something I can not cut straight.

I have difficulty dressing myself. well I used to but with being a only child and my mom a stay at home mom we would spend hours taking cloths off and putting them back on. using different outfits and different styles. doing a lot of changing from my pjs to my reg cloths and back again. by the time I was 7 I could dress myself sometimes not too well but I did get better and do a pretty good job these days.

I sit with my legs in a "W" position. I do this all the time because it hurts less then siting cross legged. do not ask me why it hurts less but it does and it provides more stimuli if needed then cross leaded.

I put my socks on just so or maybe i never go barefoot. I have to ware my socks just so or else it drives me made. I can not have my socks droopy it itches my legs when that happens. I have to ware socks if I ware pants because I can not stand the pants touching my ankles because of how much it itches them. I will go bare foot if i am wearing shorts.

I would much rather go naked because then their would be lots less stimuli to deal with. I just would need to get used to the cold. I only were cloths because it is what is expected of me not what I want to do myself.

This is the end of this session but I will go into more detail about some of these areas in a latter date. also I am going to do a lot of talking about each sense and what it is like for me to have them so hyperactive.